Funniest thing

April 2014 issue

The reluctant cook
By Samantha Sartain

This month’s winner is SAMANTHA SARTAIN of Colorado Springs, Colorado:

 

My dad was assigned to France Field in the Canal Zone of Panama in 1939. I was only 3 at the time, but I DO remember this.

Just before Thanksgiving that year, a friend of my mother’s got a live turkey, then began to prepare it. This entailed chloroforming it, as she just couldn’t do an axe job on it. Next she plucked out all of its feathers. That’s when she got a phone call from an old friend. 

She didn’t realize how long she had talked until said turkey, naked as the proverbial jaybird, began...

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May 2014 issue

By hook or by crook
By William Solof

This month’s winner is WILLIAM SOLOF of Golden, Colorado:

While my wife, Arlene, and I were traveling in the Pyrénées without reservations a few years ago, all had been well until our last night. No place had a vacancy. 

We stopped and asked a gentleman, in fractured French, if he knew of any accommodations. In broken English, he indicated that a hotel was nearby and described it as “It stops the sheep.”

To prevent further linguistic torture by both parties, we set forth to find it. I told Arlene, “Look for a sign. Could be a sheepdog, a shepherd, even a gate.”

...

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June 2014 issue

Funniest thing
By Fran Copp

This month’s winner is FRAN COPP of Farmington Hills, Michigan:

A number of years ago, my husband and I were traveling in the remote interior of Papua New Guinea. Prior to our trip, I had surprised him with the very expensive video camera of his dreams, so I was feeling very protective of his new gift.

After having our lunch at the lodge, our guide took our group on a jungle hike down a mountainside to see a series of waterfalls. We came upon a deep ravine with water filling the basin. We had to cross a bamboo bridge about 35 feet across that consisted of three or four poles...

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July 2014 issue

Particular about pedigree
By Mary Kelly

This month’s winner is MARY KELLY of Baton Rouge, Louisiana:

My husband and I recently visited the Cinque Terre region of Italy. While waiting for the train in Vernazza, we struck up a conversation with a couple from Sweden who were traveling with their lovely dog. 

As the train was pulling up and we all were in the crush to board, my husband asked, “Is she a spaniel?”

The Swedish lady directly replied, “She is not a spaniel. She is a cocker, and she is Dutch.” 

As we were settling into our seats, I realized that, with the language barrier, she thought my...

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August 2014 issue

Pontiff plaudits

By Custis Haynes

This month’s winner is Custis Haynes of Grass Valley, California:

During the 1953 Easter vacation, my husband, Ed, and I had an audience with Pope Pius XII. We were massed together in the vast Vatican reception hall with a crowd of faithful Europeans and other Americans like us. 

The Pope gave a fluent greeting to each nationality in its own language, and each nationality gave a fervent response.

The Italians roared, “Papa! Papa!” and the French, “Vive le Pape!” The German nuns launched into a rousing hymn.

Then he greeted the Americans — an uneasy moment… until...

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September 2014 issue

Making the most of Venice
By Norma Kloeckener

This month's winner is NORMA KLOECKENER of Greenville, SC:

Having spent many years in Italy, I was anxious to go back, so about five years ago I planned a trip for three girlfriends and myself.

Our last night was in Venice. As we exited Harry’s Bar at midnight, I realized that we had not taken a gondola ride. Unthinkable! “Run,” I panted. “There’s a gondola station at our hotel.”

When we arrived at the hotel, there was only one sour-faced, tired gondolier, and his price was outrageous. “OK,” I finally said as we struggled to get into the gondola… without any help....

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November 2012 issue

No problem
By Paul Roth

Tell ITN about the funniest thing that ever happened to you while traveling in a foreign country. (ITN prints no info on destinations in the United States.) There are no restrictions on length. The ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.

This month’s winner is PAUL ROTH of Elizabethtown, PA:

In 1991, my wife, Meriam, and I traveled back to the Philippines for my father-in-law’s funeral and to visit family. We flew into Manila and headed for the islands of Cebu and Mindanao....

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December 2012 issue

Grasping the meaning
By Marilynn Brown

Tell ITN about the funniest thing that ever happened to you while traveling in a foreign country. (ITN prints no info on destinations in the United States.) The ITN staff will choose each month’s winner, who will receive a free one-year subscription to ITN. Entries not chosen cannot be acknowledged.

This month’s winner is MARILYNN BROWN of Norman, Oklahoma:

In Buenos Aires in 2000 at the end of a group tour of South America, my husband, Homer, and I decided we wanted to have an “American lunch” and chose a nearby KFC restaurant. Although my Spanish was quite limited, I...

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